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The Aykler Report #11 – Green Thoughts on Green Zombies

The coming of Spring got me thinking. Dangerous, I know, but I can’t help myself. It’s an addiction. I’m thinking a lot about all the green things coming up out of the ground. They were all buried, lost and left for dead last Autumn. And now, here they are again, full of life and growing all over everything.

All this resurrection behavior makes me think of zombies. (Honestly, what doesn’t?) But this time, I’m thinking about green zombies. You know, the ones you see on funny Halloween cards or in the emojis on your phone. Green zombies are the funny cute zombies.

When I think of zombies, they are never very green. Maybe a little tinge of it around the ears if they have been left to rot for too long in a dark basement somewhere. My zombies are the color of dead skin, ashen and bloodless. More blue than green.

Here’s a parting question for you: How is green simultaneously a color associated with new life and with undead things that stagger around in search of human flesh? Are we all secretly creeped out by plants? Should I be rethinking my zombies? Have they been green all this time?


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Yours in undead infection affection, Al-not-bert Aykler


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